Here’s Why I DIDN’T Share My Divorce for 6 Months

The end of a marriage brings a lot of emotions: shame, guilt, confusion, doubt, anxiety and judgement. But it's not all bad!

Here's why I didn't share my divorce for 6 months and why it's OK to honor your emotions just as they are, so you can rebuild the relationship with yourself.

Divine Timing

The divorce topic is not talked about, especially in my community, which is why I took my time before talking about it publicly. After 20+ of marriage, it required a lot of inner work and self-healing in order to rebuild my identity, and I gave myself permission to listen to my needs – perhaps for the first time in my life.

Expectations vs Reality

A part of me was afraid about what people would say. Would they judge me? Would they pick sides? Would they support my decision? The reality took me by surprise as both friends and strangers flooded my inbox with messages of love and encouragement. But, of course, some people sided with my ex-husband or chose to remain silent, which meant our journeys were no longer aligned.

Outside Noise

Breaking free from the outside noise when you’re going through a divorce can be an emotional rollercoaster. Whatever you may hear from other people, no one knows your story the way you do. Let people form their own opinions, but do not allow them to dictate your choices. It’s OK to not have all the answers, as long as you trust intuition and believe in yourself amidst all the changes!

Judgement

As a former people pleaser, I was used to prioritizing other people’s needs over mine. It’s taken me decades to learn that saying NO is okay and that I am not required to do everything, especially if it doesn’t feel right. In the process of choosing yourself, you will face the judgement of others, but that’s the way to healing and outgrowing the previous versions of yourself who didn’t know how to protect your own identity.

Self-Care

After the divorce, I found myself alone in my new place and that’s when I realized: this was the first time I was living on my own! In solitude, I learned to listen to my inner voice and find my true authentic self. It took a lot of inner strength and love to rebuild my life, but I am glad that I chose the path of self-love!