When you're examining your marriage, don't ignore the red flags. Some love stories end in divorce and that's OK.

Each person on our path can teach us a lot about life and who we are. In this video, I talk about 10 clear signs it's time for a divorce – can you spot all the red flags?

Disclaimer: Just because you have experienced or are experiencing on of the items on this list doesn’t automatically mean that it’s time for divorce. Use your discernment and take the time to create a safe space for open communication with your partner.

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🚩 Having separate lives under the same roof

It’s not uncommon for people in a marriage to sleep in different rooms or have separate bedrooms.

In a way, we were fortunate to be able to do so, because so many couples don't have the money nor the added space to do so (even our domesticated birds had their own bedroom).

But every person was set in their ways.

We were like roommates. It was “comfortable” – but do you stay in a marriage because it’s comfortable or do you pursue true love?

I loved him, however, I was no longer in love with him.

🚩 Stopped going on dates

Our dating life was reduced to going out to a local restaurant for lunch and then grocery shopping.

There were so many things we could have done, even without spending a lot of money!

Being spontaneous introduced some of the spark back into the marriage, like when I organized a surprise trip for my husband’s 50th birthday, but at the end of the day we were quite strict about money and didn’t allow ourselves to get excited about life.

Routines replaced living in the present moment & we were stuck playing roles that didn’t allow us to grow together.

🚩 Having separate accounts

Asking my ex-husband for money would end up in a mental shutdown and me having to take more accountability: I’d hear “You’re not trying hard enough” or “You need to get a job” almost daily.

Even though we had a shared account, I never took his money for granted or took from the shared account. I would pay him for the mortgage, the bills and the groceries, and we would take turns paying when going out to eat.

Until I ran out of savings, I used the money from my own account, which is why losing my job and income became such a burden in our marriage and affected my mental health badly.

🚩 Doing the same vacations

Routines took over every aspect of our life, so we ended up planning the same vacation in the same location.

This, of course, didn’t help our marriage as it perpetuated the cycles of settling into what was comfortable.

When we were going through the divorce, we actually reflected on this and both of us agreed that we could and should have traveled more.

There are vacation places that offer so much variety that every trip feels different, but if you’re having marriage issues – go to new destinations and challenge yourself as a couple.

🚩 Avoiding the tough conversations

Even though our marriage lasted almost 3 decades, the communication between us didn’t reflect the closeness that one might expect from such a long partnership.

We avoided some topics, remained quiet when it came to others and became numb to problems that we should have openly discussed as life partners.

As a former people-pleaser, I take full accountability for not speaking up sooner, but sharing my story now is allowing me to shed light on everything that was wrong in our marriage.

Married couples shouldn’t ignore issues for years until the point of no repair if they still want to be in the partnership.

🚩 Feeling pressured to play a role

My ex-husband never asked me to play the role of the Housewife, but somehow I ended up doing it. It was like a societal expectation that I fulfilled to keep the peace between us.

He’d come home from work and I would have the dinner ready and the house rightfully so.

At some point I realized that it wasn’t really authentic, but it was too late to stop, because that would disrupt the relationship dynamics.

From the outside, we didn’t appear to have any problems, but internally I was continuously putting up a front to keep the frequency of our marriage high.

🚩 Not being a safe space for each other

My ex-husband did not understand my mental health needs and my periods of suffering, oftentimes ignoring them instead of asking how he can help.

Unable to relate to or understand what I was experiencing, he gradually drove me away emotionally.

Your partner is supposed to be your safe space, but I never felt like I could openly share my inner world with my ex-husband. He cared more about the surface level issues and conversations than the depth that comes with talking about our emotions, dreams and fears.

Once my spiritual awakening started, I could no longer pretend that I was OK.

🚩 Oversharing with people outside of the marriage

My husband couldn’t keep a secret and he made sure that I knew it, so when I wanted to confide in him, it would be a matter of time before he told someone else outside of the marriage.

He would overshare with his mother about things that I wasn’t comfortable with her knowing.

It’s like he felt a compulsion to share the information with someone, from his closest friends or his boss.

After each spilled secret, he would shift the blame and project onto me, that it was my fault for telling him, since I knew that he couldn’t keep a secret, which was his way of teasing me.

🚩 Having different life beliefs

My ex-husband and I mostly shared the same political beliefs, but when I began awakening, I’d bring up topics and themes that would sometimes get him to mock me or judge me and call me a conspiracy theorist, instead of having an open discussion with me.

We couldn’t even have a conversation, as I would not feel seen or heard, so I would just avoid some topics and subjects altogether.

Since I couldn’t speak to my husband, I started networking more and looking for like-minded people to share my ideas and vision for the future, which he didn’t appreciate at all. He blamed me for “emotionally cheating” the more I continued to expand my network.

🚩 Sacrifice after sacrifice after sacrifice

Marriage, just like any partnership or connection, should be based in true reciprocity.

If you find yourself giving more than you’re receiving, there’s a problem that should be addressed.

I didn’t realize I was sacrificing my needs for years until it was too late, but then again it’s never too late to change your life and transform it for the better.

Making sacrifices is part of life, but not when those sacrifices mess with your mental health and make you feel alone in the relationship with your spouse.

You deserve the love you give, so don’t settle for less than true reciprocity!

How to Recognize It’s Time for a Divorce? 10 Signs!